"Little Fever World"

published March 1, 2025

Spending so long carrying my Instagram posts over to this blog filled my head with a lot of the ideas, feelings, and misconceptions I had when I was younger, in high school. It all kinda mixed up in my head, and the mixing and churning and aching in my head has never really stopped, just changed shape to reflect whatever nonsense I'm focusing on right now.

Sometimes, in a quiet moment, I think about the usual things, and then realize how weird they are. This especially happens when I'm sleep-deprived and my brain gets "drunk" on sleep-deprivation and starts shouting things instead of keeping my thoughts at an indoors volume. I play Touhou and Pokémon on the regular. But isn't it weird that someone would enjoy a game where there are fake animals that can shoot beams at each other?? And what's up with Touhou, how did a human being come up with all these dizzying patterns, and who invented the idea of a game where you just dodge stuff?? And aren't video games themselves weird?? Isn't it weird to be able to just play once a day, to goof off at least once every day?? Isn't it weird that the modern definition of a "game" involves a big flat piece of glass that has tiny glowing dots under it??? And what is "modern" anyways, where did it come from???? How did ANYTHING happen????? How did it happen even with someone pointing out "that's weird" or "that's not right"????? I could go on and on, but I would just sound stupid. Because isn't it weird that we find some things weird?

That's just what happens when my brain's operating on not-enough energy. Everything becomes either a muddy blur or a searing-hot firework, and then when I get proper rest and am able to process everything that happened while I was sleep-deprived, I can't help but think "wasn't that all so weird?? What was I doing??" And yet, when I think a bit harder, I realize that it's not all that weird, it's actually mostly fine. And I realize that there are a lot of things I wouldn't have any other way.

Like this post, which I finally drew just now and am writing at OH GOD IT'S ALREADY 11 AT NIGHT?!?!?!?!?! I have been doing...too much lately...😰 And I've also been struggling to figure out what I wanna do with my blog, even though I literally made the dang thing from scratch. Consider this long, rambly, Insta-like post as prodding the waters, trying to get my bearings.

Credits to incorporated images!

There are two things in this drawing that you might notice look rather...realistic?? I modified them from free-use images that I searched up on Pexels and Wikipedia.

Judgmental-looking rooster ❧ Photo by Pixabay: https://www.pexels.com/photo/selective-photography-of-rooster-34770/.

Sharp CRT TV set ❧ by Morikou, released into the public domain, uploaded to Wikimedia Commons.

Little story: I tried searching for images of "screaming chickens" within a regular search engine, and I noticed a few similar-looking AI-generated images in the results, one of which had a fake-looking chicken with a metal drinking cup embedded in its chest??? Y'all Gen-AI supporters are saying "generative AI lets ordinary people create art", but I just can't believe you when I see AI being used to thoughtlessly churn out terrifying shit like that, that's not "art" 😔