"Yeah, I think I'll be all right!"

originally created October 5, 2022 ✦ republished February 9, 2025

(Originally posted on Instagram. This retroactive post is adapted from the Instagram post.)

I'm so tired that I should not be forcing myself to stay awake rn, but anyways I drewed a thing~

Today was my second therapist call, and fortunately it was far less intense than it was last week! Lately I've been having these sensations of emotions so strong and thoughts so wild that they feel childlike, and on top of that my mind is conjuring up random childhood memories; alongside the now-dull fearful, dangerous-feeling thoughts that are just running in the background of my mind now, and more things that are very concerning, as well as some things that fortunately feel familiar to conditions I was able to overcome last year. I explained all of this to her, and she reassured me that childhood thoughts sometimes come up, and gave me a mindfulness technique to try. I'm really grateful to be able to see a therapist for this anxiety—it feels like I can finally take those thoughts and questions and worries and let them out to someone who is just there to listen, and who has the knowledge to be able to understand what's going on. In a weird way, I actually find it fun. If you have anxiety or depression, see a therapist!!!

Anyways, I figured I'd draw this to direct my mind away from rushing through thoughts and dwelling on them or inflating them, wasting precious vitality, and towards something where I can recharge and put some of my skills to use—perhaps even find some enjoyment. This was a good exercise, I basically just drew and colored whatever happened to be in my mind, and also let my hand guide the way at times in a way that I figure is relieving or cathartic. There's not much else specific about it, and I'm consistently teaching myself to learn that this is just fine.

Big words yeeexkxkkszkskzkkeekkzxxxcccvvbfbmnghbnhf ok have a good dayyyyyyyy 👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼

Oh!!!!!!! And as for expecting new art for me.....expect me to pick up the pace slowly. Taking my time is also going to be an important part of healing, just as relearning to trust my judgment, reduce reactivity to thoughts, and recuperate my mental and physical health are.